Freedom.

Today, we did an introductory Bible study on the book of Galatians. Galatians was a letter written by the apostle Paul to the early church of Galatia. The reason why Paul had written this letter was because he wanted to remind them that Christ has saved them once and for all. There was a controversy arising in the Galatian church where the Judaizers (extreme Judaists) were attempting to teach the Galatians that they had to follow the Jewish practices that were in place before the coming of Jesus, i.e. that the Gentiles had to follow the rules and regulations as well as following Christ in order to be saved. Paul said no - N.O.

This really hit me. It was a great reminder of the whole point of Jesus. It reminded me of the important truth that I cannot save myself by being good or doing right because they don't take away my sin. Even if my good deeds could save me, for every good thing I've done, there must be like 10 bad things to counter it (at least it feels that way). I've always been a little bit more obsessive than most. In fact, before I became a Christian, I used to think of God as a big policeman who would be on watch for my every mistake, ready to strike me down should I step out of line. This caused me to try hard to "be good", but surprise surprise...FAIL. Every time I slipped, I slammed myself. Things are different now. As a Christian, I believe that it was Jesus who made me acceptable to God, and that through Him, sin is dealt with.

Of course, I still struggle with the notion of trying to please God with my actions, but I am really thankful for this reminder - that salvation is through God's grace through Jesus, and NOTHING ELSE; that it is not a reward for our deeds, but a gift from Him. It is not we who have to reach up to Him; He is the one who reaches down to us. And that's the truth.

On a related note, I've been thinking about my self-image. As an overly neurotic introvert (quiet and anxious type), I worry about things a lot, and one of these things, I've noticed recently, is how people view me. Sometimes, I can really see the pride and vanity within myself. The main problem for me is that I keep quiet because I don't want people to view me negatively. And yeah, we all have our prideful moments, but I see how they're affecting me and it sucks. My problem is that I struggle with being honest and open with people because I don't want anyone to get hurt. However, honesty is something I really value. I think it is one of the key ingredients in a good relationship. Therefore, I really wish that I'd been more open in the past, so maybe I would have stronger relationships with my friends and family today.

But again, I am reminded of God's love for me through His grace. With the sacrafice of Jesus, I can be completely honest to Him about all the disgusting and detestable things I've done and not be worried about "not being good enough". Of course, he already knows, but the point of such a confession is to build confidence and strength within myself - confidence in God's mercy and strength enough to admit my wrongs. So, I think, it should be the case with my friends and family - to be honest and open about the more sensitive issues in my life. What have I got to lose?