Today, we did an introductory Bible study on the book of Galatians. Galatians was a letter written by the apostle Paul to the early church of Galatia. The reason why Paul had written this letter was because he wanted to remind them that Christ has saved them once and for all. There was a controversy arising in the Galatian church where the Judaizers (extreme Judaists) were attempting to teach the Galatians that they had to follow the Jewish practices that were in place before the coming of Jesus, i.e. that the Gentiles had to follow the rules and regulations as well as following Christ in order to be saved. Paul said no - N.O.
This really hit me. It was a great reminder of the whole point of Jesus. It reminded me of the important truth that I cannot save myself by being good or doing right because they don't take away my sin. Even if my good deeds could save me, for every good thing I've done, there must be like 10 bad things to counter it (at least it feels that way). I've always been a little bit more obsessive than most. In fact, before I became a Christian, I used to think of God as a big policeman who would be on watch for my every mistake, ready to strike me down should I step out of line. This caused me to try hard to "be good", but surprise surprise...FAIL. Every time I slipped, I slammed myself. Things are different now. As a Christian, I believe that it was Jesus who made me acceptable to God, and that through Him, sin is dealt with.
Of course, I still struggle with the notion of trying to please God with my actions, but I am really thankful for this reminder - that salvation is through God's grace through Jesus, and NOTHING ELSE; that it is not a reward for our deeds, but a gift from Him. It is not we who have to reach up to Him; He is the one who reaches down to us. And that's the truth.
On a related note, I've been thinking about my self-image. As an overly neurotic introvert (quiet and anxious type), I worry about things a lot, and one of these things, I've noticed recently, is how people view me. Sometimes, I can really see the pride and vanity within myself. The main problem for me is that I keep quiet because I don't want people to view me negatively. And yeah, we all have our prideful moments, but I see how they're affecting me and it sucks. My problem is that I struggle with being honest and open with people because I don't want anyone to get hurt. However, honesty is something I really value. I think it is one of the key ingredients in a good relationship. Therefore, I really wish that I'd been more open in the past, so maybe I would have stronger relationships with my friends and family today.
But again, I am reminded of God's love for me through His grace. With the sacrafice of Jesus, I can be completely honest to Him about all the disgusting and detestable things I've done and not be worried about "not being good enough". Of course, he already knows, but the point of such a confession is to build confidence and strength within myself - confidence in God's mercy and strength enough to admit my wrongs. So, I think, it should be the case with my friends and family - to be honest and open about the more sensitive issues in my life. What have I got to lose?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Pride...
Life's too short to be full of pride.
Everyone suffers from pride once in a while. Now, I'm not talking about the pride where we feel good and comfortable about ourselves, the pride where we stand up for what we believe in, like Aussie pride or azn pride, or like the kid who makes his mum proud. No, that's good. I'm talking about another kind of pride that is evident almost everywhere in the world - the selfish kind of pride; the cocky pride; the pride that causes people to judge, accuse, and badmouth others; the pride that puffs people up. And who would have thought? Being shy can involve pride.
Mark Driscoll hit it right on the head. The message that really stood out to me, while I was listening to his video sermon on Friday night, was that worrying about what others think about you involves pride. If you don't know already, I'm abnormally anxious, at least in my mind. I might have mentioned before that I'm a "worrier king". Part of it (a significant chunk) is involved in worrying about what others think of me. I'd never really thought about it, but the sermon gave me a kick-start. Worrying about what others think, to me, is synonymous to worrying about self-image. While I don't really worry about how I look, I do worry about how others perceive me by the way I act; by the things I do or say.
My biggest concern is about how this has affected my interactions with others. It's worry that drives my actions. I find it hard to talk to strangers. Yes, I'm an introvert, and yes, I'm aware of my higher-than-usual level of neuroticism (anxiety, worry, etc. as a personality trait), but thinking back on my past encounters with others, I realise that part of it was due to pride. It led me to be distant from others, eg. people in my lectures and tutes. As for the people I do know, I don't seem to be as close to them as I'd like to be. These people include my friends from church and high school, my family, and higher authorities who are there to look after me, eg. our youth pastor and other older adults at church. Oh, and God. Can't forget the large-and-in-charge. It seems to me that I haven't been sharing as much of my life with them as I should be. Relationships, I believe, are the most impostant things in this life. Through my pride, though, I've been hiding in the corner, and, in effect, have been neglecting them.
If I really think about it, being negatively judged is not really a big thing. We're all the same according to God, so who cares? One day, it's all going to disappear, anyway. This life is nothing more than a puff of smoke. Besides, it's not doing me any good. I can get rid of it by the grace of God. To me, that means to drop to the ground, drop my prideful ways of thinking, and let Him pick me up. There can't be two in the driver's seat after all. Finally, I'd like to share some lyrics from two great songs I heard this week: Say the Words and Jesus Freak, both by DC Talk. Both songs deal, at a significant degree, with pride.
"But still we choose to hide behind the face of pride
Pretending we are blind to the calling.
This is my point and case, if hate can be erased
With such a simple phrase, why are we stalling?
Say the words, say the words, say, 'I LOVE YOU' "
"What will people think when they hear that I'm a Jesus freak?
What will people do when they find that it's true?
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak;
There ain't no disguising the truth!"
Everyone suffers from pride once in a while. Now, I'm not talking about the pride where we feel good and comfortable about ourselves, the pride where we stand up for what we believe in, like Aussie pride or azn pride, or like the kid who makes his mum proud. No, that's good. I'm talking about another kind of pride that is evident almost everywhere in the world - the selfish kind of pride; the cocky pride; the pride that causes people to judge, accuse, and badmouth others; the pride that puffs people up. And who would have thought? Being shy can involve pride.
Mark Driscoll hit it right on the head. The message that really stood out to me, while I was listening to his video sermon on Friday night, was that worrying about what others think about you involves pride. If you don't know already, I'm abnormally anxious, at least in my mind. I might have mentioned before that I'm a "worrier king". Part of it (a significant chunk) is involved in worrying about what others think of me. I'd never really thought about it, but the sermon gave me a kick-start. Worrying about what others think, to me, is synonymous to worrying about self-image. While I don't really worry about how I look, I do worry about how others perceive me by the way I act; by the things I do or say.
My biggest concern is about how this has affected my interactions with others. It's worry that drives my actions. I find it hard to talk to strangers. Yes, I'm an introvert, and yes, I'm aware of my higher-than-usual level of neuroticism (anxiety, worry, etc. as a personality trait), but thinking back on my past encounters with others, I realise that part of it was due to pride. It led me to be distant from others, eg. people in my lectures and tutes. As for the people I do know, I don't seem to be as close to them as I'd like to be. These people include my friends from church and high school, my family, and higher authorities who are there to look after me, eg. our youth pastor and other older adults at church. Oh, and God. Can't forget the large-and-in-charge. It seems to me that I haven't been sharing as much of my life with them as I should be. Relationships, I believe, are the most impostant things in this life. Through my pride, though, I've been hiding in the corner, and, in effect, have been neglecting them.
If I really think about it, being negatively judged is not really a big thing. We're all the same according to God, so who cares? One day, it's all going to disappear, anyway. This life is nothing more than a puff of smoke. Besides, it's not doing me any good. I can get rid of it by the grace of God. To me, that means to drop to the ground, drop my prideful ways of thinking, and let Him pick me up. There can't be two in the driver's seat after all. Finally, I'd like to share some lyrics from two great songs I heard this week: Say the Words and Jesus Freak, both by DC Talk. Both songs deal, at a significant degree, with pride.
"But still we choose to hide behind the face of pride
Pretending we are blind to the calling.
This is my point and case, if hate can be erased
With such a simple phrase, why are we stalling?
Say the words, say the words, say, 'I LOVE YOU' "
"What will people think when they hear that I'm a Jesus freak?
What will people do when they find that it's true?
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak;
There ain't no disguising the truth!"
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Life's too short
Life's too short...
-To be worrying all the time
-To be carefree
-To be overworked
-To be lazy
-To be moping around all the time
-To be chasing fantasies
-To be hostile towards others
-To be fighting against others
-To be wasting your time
-To be cramming everything in
-To be hesitant
-To be impatient
-To be scared of everything
-To be reckless
-To be caught up in philosophies
-To be living for freaking money
-To be living for freaking education and knowledge
-To be LOVING your mansion
-To be living for cars
-To be LOVING your WRX STi
-To be living for games
-To be LOVING your XPS
-To be LOVING your 50-inch plasma screen
-To be living for your own happiness! Gah!
-To be living for yourself
-To be worshiping yourself
-To be searching for knowledge
-To be searching for happiness in life
-To be searching for meaning in life
-To be holding grudges
-To be lying to yourself
-To be lying at all
-To be arguing and reasoning all the time
-To be making excuses
-To be aimless
-To be focusing too much
-To be worrying about the past
-To be worrying about the present
-To be worrying about the future
-To have your head in the clouds
-To have your head down all the time
-To have your nose up in the air
-To have fear all the time
-To have no fear: to be reckless
-To try to be good in your own strength
-To ignore the warnings
-To worry, worry, worry about the warnings
-To 'fix' the world
-Not to invest in relationships
-Not to say sorry
-Not to forgive others' wrongdoings
-Not to make things right with others
-Not to honour your parents
-Not to love others
-Not to hug someone
-Not to BE a friend
-Not to stomp on your selfishness
Recently, I've been noticing how short life is. The thing that reminded me most was the skit I performed in (ehhh...bad grammar). There was a part where we made shapes with our hands under UV light to "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns. Nice song; reminds us of how small we really are compared to God. Since we kept on practising the skit, I kept on hearing the song over and over. There was a particular line that stuck out:
"I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow."
It's so true. O_o
The amount of time I have on this earth is...well, anything but plentiful. I figured that I should make the most of what I've got now.
Also, I've concluded that my life, and all the is in it, is worthless; absolutely WORTHLESS with God here with me. It is now my mission to give Him all I've got.
-To be worrying all the time
-To be carefree
-To be overworked
-To be lazy
-To be moping around all the time
-To be chasing fantasies
-To be hostile towards others
-To be fighting against others
-To be wasting your time
-To be cramming everything in
-To be hesitant
-To be impatient
-To be scared of everything
-To be reckless
-To be caught up in philosophies
-To be living for freaking money
-To be living for freaking education and knowledge
-To be LOVING your mansion
-To be living for cars
-To be LOVING your WRX STi
-To be living for games
-To be LOVING your XPS
-To be LOVING your 50-inch plasma screen
-To be living for your own happiness! Gah!
-To be living for yourself
-To be worshiping yourself
-To be searching for knowledge
-To be searching for happiness in life
-To be searching for meaning in life
-To be holding grudges
-To be lying to yourself
-To be lying at all
-To be arguing and reasoning all the time
-To be making excuses
-To be aimless
-To be focusing too much
-To be worrying about the past
-To be worrying about the present
-To be worrying about the future
-To have your head in the clouds
-To have your head down all the time
-To have your nose up in the air
-To have fear all the time
-To have no fear: to be reckless
-To try to be good in your own strength
-To ignore the warnings
-To worry, worry, worry about the warnings
-To 'fix' the world
-Not to invest in relationships
-Not to say sorry
-Not to forgive others' wrongdoings
-Not to make things right with others
-Not to honour your parents
-Not to love others
-Not to hug someone
-Not to BE a friend
-Not to stomp on your selfishness
Recently, I've been noticing how short life is. The thing that reminded me most was the skit I performed in (ehhh...bad grammar). There was a part where we made shapes with our hands under UV light to "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns. Nice song; reminds us of how small we really are compared to God. Since we kept on practising the skit, I kept on hearing the song over and over. There was a particular line that stuck out:
"I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow."
It's so true. O_o
The amount of time I have on this earth is...well, anything but plentiful. I figured that I should make the most of what I've got now.
Also, I've concluded that my life, and all the is in it, is worthless; absolutely WORTHLESS with God here with me. It is now my mission to give Him all I've got.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Freedom?
Imagine a free world...a world with no rules, no restrictions, no regulations, nothing to stop you! Freedom to have fun, freedom to have what you want, freedom to please yourself in any way you see fit, freedom to do as you feel, freedom to lie, steal, kill! Wait...what?!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Love?
Well, it's been nearly 3 weeks since my last entry. Maybe I should write more...eh, I don't know...
Recently, I had a disagreement with a friend on the topic of love. Afterwards, it got me thinking about what the world thinks about love. Well, to tell you the truth, I am not actually sure how to define love myself, either because it is too complicated to explain, or because I lack the skills to explain it...or both...but here goes. Now, once again, this is my own opinion. I am not pushing it on anyone. If you are offended, I'm sorry.
When I think of how the world views love, I slap myself on the head (surprise, surprise...). I get images of attraction, dating, bfs/gfs, popular songs about love, fuzzy wuzzy feelings...and the list goes on. Then you get affairs, fights, and break-ups that end in tears. Gah. Sometimes, I feel lucky that I've never experienced any of this. It also makes me feel uncertain about relationships in general. I said FEEL. I don't actually think every relationship is gonna be like that.
Well, as one who rebels against the world, I say, "Whatever." There's gotta be more to love than that, right? What is love, anyway? What about love in families? Is it different? Eh?
I've been tied up in knots the past few days thinking about love, and how to define it, but the other night, I remembered a sermon quite a while back on the topic of love. The speaker mentioned two types: "eros" and "agape" (ah-GAH-pay).
Now, from what I remember, eros is also known as conditional love. Conditions are placed on love. If I'm not mistaken, eros is the Greek word for sexual "love". Words such as erotic, etc...come from it. So, I'm guessing that eros has a lot to do with feelings of attraction (etc...) as well. Feelings...attraction...hmmm...I see this in the media a lot...The world seems to think this...So, to me, eros love means that you love someone because they have something that pleases you. In other words, you are attracted to a certain quality in someone. This could include good looks, money, a sense of humour, nice personality, etc. Now, there's nothing wrong with attraction, but, the thing is, it's just a feeling (in my opinion, anyway), and a feeling is a feeling - nothing more, nothing less. So imagine a relationship based only on attraction to qualities or assets. Here's a quick example: "I will buy you diamond rings and beautiful things because you're so fine." Gah, I can't believe I just wrote that...*bangs head on desk*...oops I'm bleeding...nah, only joking. So presumably, the man loves the woman for her good looks, and he buys expensive stuff because of that. But what if he stops buying expensive stuff? What if he goes broke? Hmmm...You can think about that one. Now regarding a relationship based on eros love...Is it a deep relationship? Is it about the other person or about yourself - who is put first? What is the purpose of the relationship, then? WILL IT LAST? Each one of those questions regarding eros love, to me, is shaky. It make me wonder if eros is true love at all. The claim that ATTRACTION ITSELF is love is questionable, in my opinion. If it is, then, to be honest, I'm as good as dead.
Now, if attraction is all there is to love, then I wonder what happens as couples get older. Not to be mean or anything, but as people get older, they get less attractive. There. Does the love diminish? No. I don't think so. Now, I'm no expert in relationships, so the presumptions I'm about to make are a bit dangerous. Now, I presume that the feeling attraction decreases as the relationship goes on. Now come on. A man that has been married for, say, 20 years is not gonna be all shaky around his wife, is he? Rofl. I know it's nore complicated than that...but yeah. Now, to summarise, I think there is decreased attraction, but not decreased love. So I conclude, then, that there must be something else going on. Something independent of attraction.
That's where agape love comes in. Maybe. Agape love, unlike eros, is unconditional love. In my mind, it is the complete opposite of eros, well, primarily because it's unconditional. So what are the implications, then? It means loving independent of other things. That's the meaning of unconditional. The implications? You love the other person, well, because you love THEM. Not their money, their looks, their talent, blah blah blah...In some ways, it seems to me like a conscious decision. How so? Well, it's a conscious decision to put the other person before yourself. For example, you care for the other person, doing what's best for them, you forgive them for whatever wrong they do, you trust them, you confide in them and you see past their flaws (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Hard, isn't it? I said: HARD, ISN'T IT? To be always loving someone like this...but how does it sound...? I reckon it sounds pretty good. But hang on...could this apply to other relationships? I guess so (minus the attraction, and plus other things). Take a friend, for example. Could I care for a friend? Could I forgive them for the wrong that a friends does? Could I trust my friend? Could I see past their flaws? Sure, why not? So, to conclude on agape love...it seems very different from the world's view of love. So...maybe I've got a chance...(Yeah, I do. I believe in agape love).
So, here is a thought to tie things up. Imagine a relationship where 90% of the love is devoted to attraction and other things and 10% is devoted to the other person...(Now, I'm only using the numbers as a guide...You can't measure love!) So what if everything falls away except for the other person? Not much left, is there. Now imagine the reverse. 90% devoted to each other, and 10% to everything else - attraction and whatnot. Still strong, I'd say.
Now, forgive me, because, in my opinion, this has been a huge load of blah grounded in who knows what. Well, at least I know the part about agape love is stable. The Bible doesn't lie. I'm not the biggest expert on love, being a puny human. Hmmm...Don't think I'll get far in knowing about love. Ok. I'll spit it out. True love is unconditional. That's what I believe. I also have reason to believe that nobody could ever be an expert on love. It's not humanly possible. There must be something more...I'll just shut up now, yeah?
So, here is a thought to tie things up. Imagine a relationship where 90% of the love is devoted to attraction and other things and 10% is devoted to the other person...(Now, I'm only using the numbers as a guide...You can't measure love!) So what if everything falls away except for the other person? Not much left, is there. Now imagine the reverse. 90% devoted to each other, and 10% to everything else - attraction and whatnot. Still strong, I'd say.
Now, forgive me, because, in my opinion, this has been a huge load of blah grounded in who knows what. Well, at least I know the part about agape love is stable. The Bible doesn't lie. I'm not the biggest expert on love, being a puny human. Hmmm...Don't think I'll get far in knowing about love. Ok. I'll spit it out. True love is unconditional. That's what I believe. I also have reason to believe that nobody could ever be an expert on love. It's not humanly possible. There must be something more...I'll just shut up now, yeah?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Bulldog vs. Poodle
The other day, I came across an encouraging article in magazine called The Word for Today, which focused on James 4:8: "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." (NJKV).
"The story's told of a bulldog and a poodle who were arguing one day. The bulldog was making fun of the poodle, calling him a weak little runt who couldn't do anything. The bulldog said, "I challenge yo to a contest. Let's see who can open the back door of their house the fastest and get inside." The bulldog was thinking that he would turn the doorknow with his powerful jaws, while the poodle was too small to even reach the knob of his back door. But the to bulldog's surprise the poodle said, " I can get inside my house faster than you can. I accept the challenge." So with the poodle watching, the bulldog rand to the back door of his house and jumped up on the doorknob. He got his teeth and paws around it and tried to turn it, but he couldn't get enough grip on the knob to do it, so he finally quit in exhaustion. Now it was the poodle's turn. he did just what he'd been doing every day for the last several years. He went up to the door and scratched a couple of times, then waited patiently. Within a few seconds, his master not only opened the door, but picked him up in his arms, patted him on the head affectionately and carried him inside.
The difference was in the relationship. some of us are bulldog Christians. It's all grunting, growling and trying to please God. Give it up! All God asks us to do is, "Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you." "
Now when I read that, I immediately looked at my life and thought, "Guilty as charged". I must admit that a lot of my Christian life had been "bulldogging"; habits of the past included forcefully reading my Bible, forcefully *praying*, and worst of all, thinking that I was not good enough because of my past wrongs, plus plenty more. Although I'm not as much of a "bulldog" as I was before, I still face this problem today. Some of my habits have diminished, while others still remain. Having said that, it's good to know, then, that God doesn't need us to be *perfect*, so to speak. All we need to do is to go ahead and draw near to Him. Now, in my life, I emphasise the *go ahead* part because usually, I find it hard to do, especially if I've sinned. When you feel guilty or your wrongs, it's hard to approach God, who hates wrong. But the question in my mind is: If I don't draw near to God, what can I draw near to to fix my sin?
I'm just thankful that God is willing, in fact, he deeply wants us to draw near to him. Also, I thank God for answering my past prayers to chip away this "bulldog" attitude of mine. It's been a long and painful journey, but I believe it's gonna be worth it.
"The story's told of a bulldog and a poodle who were arguing one day. The bulldog was making fun of the poodle, calling him a weak little runt who couldn't do anything. The bulldog said, "I challenge yo to a contest. Let's see who can open the back door of their house the fastest and get inside." The bulldog was thinking that he would turn the doorknow with his powerful jaws, while the poodle was too small to even reach the knob of his back door. But the to bulldog's surprise the poodle said, " I can get inside my house faster than you can. I accept the challenge." So with the poodle watching, the bulldog rand to the back door of his house and jumped up on the doorknob. He got his teeth and paws around it and tried to turn it, but he couldn't get enough grip on the knob to do it, so he finally quit in exhaustion. Now it was the poodle's turn. he did just what he'd been doing every day for the last several years. He went up to the door and scratched a couple of times, then waited patiently. Within a few seconds, his master not only opened the door, but picked him up in his arms, patted him on the head affectionately and carried him inside.
The difference was in the relationship. some of us are bulldog Christians. It's all grunting, growling and trying to please God. Give it up! All God asks us to do is, "Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you." "
Now when I read that, I immediately looked at my life and thought, "Guilty as charged". I must admit that a lot of my Christian life had been "bulldogging"; habits of the past included forcefully reading my Bible, forcefully *praying*, and worst of all, thinking that I was not good enough because of my past wrongs, plus plenty more. Although I'm not as much of a "bulldog" as I was before, I still face this problem today. Some of my habits have diminished, while others still remain. Having said that, it's good to know, then, that God doesn't need us to be *perfect*, so to speak. All we need to do is to go ahead and draw near to Him. Now, in my life, I emphasise the *go ahead* part because usually, I find it hard to do, especially if I've sinned. When you feel guilty or your wrongs, it's hard to approach God, who hates wrong. But the question in my mind is: If I don't draw near to God, what can I draw near to to fix my sin?
I'm just thankful that God is willing, in fact, he deeply wants us to draw near to him. Also, I thank God for answering my past prayers to chip away this "bulldog" attitude of mine. It's been a long and painful journey, but I believe it's gonna be worth it.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Forgiveness
Hmmm...these past few weeks, I've been thinking about what it means to forgive someone. I think forgiveness is an important part of life and an essential element in our relationships with others. I've also been pondering about forgiveness in the eyes of our society and the media today. Now please forgive me if I offend anyone (no pun intended); this is purely what I believe. Furthermore, my study of psychology has nothing to do with this! Gah!
Now, when do we forgive? Is it because someone's been nice to us? No. We forgive because someone has done wrong to us. Duh! And we forgive them because we love them, yes? Well, we don't want to hate them, at least (It's complex, so I don't want to go too far). So why do we hate people when they do wrong to us? Because it hurts, that's why. (The reason may vary from person to person, but you get the main idea, I'm sure). And so when someone we love (or don't want to hate) has done wrong to us and hurt us, we forgive them in order to continue the relationship (or continue not knowing them in the case of random people) without resentment in the way. So now, I consider three main points of view on forgiveness: "forgiveness by force", "forgiveness by denial", and "forgiveness by acknowledgement".
The first view, "forgiveness by force", to me, means 'forgiving' someone out of your will. I think that when someone 'forgives by force', he or she still holds a grudge against that person, and is merely thinking that the 'forgiving' part is done. I believe it is done out of forced righteousness 'because it's right' and pride in oneself. One may supress one's hateful actions and thoughts towards the offender (for example, if I wanted to yell an insult at someone, I would stop myself by force), but deep down, the hate and resentment is still there. Therefore, forgiveness by force, in my opinion, is NOT true forgiveness.
The second view, forgiveness by denial, I define as denying that the offender did anything wrong. This one, I think, is used more in cases where the offender is someone we're close to eg. a friend, a family member, a partner, etc. It's not nice to think that a loved one hurt you, is it...? Of course not. So one denies the thought. The thought that replaces it? The the offence was not so bad, or that it was just a little slip up or something. Nothing major. But there are two problems with that way of thinking. Firstly, it doesn't address the resentment one feels (I'm talking about the people who ARE hurt) because the offence is perceived as not wrong, to put it simply. It is inconsistent. Here's the thing: if they didn't do anything wrong, why are you hurting? It can some to the point that some may even deny that they actually are hurt in order to remain consistent with their thoughts. Sad, I'm afraid. The second point is more a philosophical one. To 'forgive' in this way simply does not allow forgiveness to exist. As I mentioned before, you forgive someone when they've done something wrong. Now, to deny that someone ever did anything wrong...if there's nothing done wrong, there's nothing to forgive. So "forgiveness by denial" is not true forgiveness either. Firstly, the pain is not dealt with; secondly, denial of wrong and forgiveness, by logic, simply cannot co-exist in the same situation any more than a capital T can with an F.
So, finally, we have come to the third view on forgiveness. What do I think it means to forgive? Well, I call it "forgiveness by acknowledgment". It's different from denial. Instead of seeing the offender as blameless (when in fact, they DID offend) and lying to oneself, it involves acknowledging that the offender DID indeed offend, and also that the offender is imperfect, yet still loving (or at least not hating in the case of randoms) the offender DESPITE the undeniable wrong and damage done. It's based on unconditional love, which sees a person's weaknesses right there, but cares more about the person than what he or she does. This is the way God loves us, which leads to His forgiveness for our sins. In the same way, I believe we ought to do the same. So the verdict? Firstly, forgiveness by "acknowledgement" addresses our hurts truthfully by acknowledging that the action done was wrong. Secondly, it achieves the goal of making things right with the other person.
So then, I'd like to evaluate the three views and further explain "forgiveness by acknowledgament" with an analogy. Think of it this way: imagine the offender, the 'victim', and a high, spiky, barbed wire fence separating the two. Let the fence represent the wrong done by the offender. In the "force" case, the 'victim' sees the offender surrounded by the spiky fence. Since the fence is so close to the offender, they are seen as one. So...a spiky person, maybe. And one refuses to go near the spiky person. In the case of "denial", one either doesn't see the spiky fence, or refuses to look at it because it's so scary. And when one looks away from the fence, one looks away from the other person without realising. Similarly, by staying away from the fence, one stays away from the other person. This person lives on with the (possibly invisible) fence in the way. Now, in the final "acknowledgement" case, one looks straight at the fence; and also sees the other person behind the fence. This person sees the details of the fence: the jagged spikes on the sides of its poles - every single one; the dirty red rust that covers its poles and its mesh - disgusting; the endless coils of barbed wire on top - dense with star-shaped spurs. It's scary, to say the least, however, motivated by the desire for the person behind the fence, the 'victim' decides to climb. After sustaining several cuts and scratches, the victim reunites with the offender, and the fence is left to rust away as the two decide to walk far away from it, never to see it again. This is how I think forgiveness should be.
Now, when do we forgive? Is it because someone's been nice to us? No. We forgive because someone has done wrong to us. Duh! And we forgive them because we love them, yes? Well, we don't want to hate them, at least (It's complex, so I don't want to go too far). So why do we hate people when they do wrong to us? Because it hurts, that's why. (The reason may vary from person to person, but you get the main idea, I'm sure). And so when someone we love (or don't want to hate) has done wrong to us and hurt us, we forgive them in order to continue the relationship (or continue not knowing them in the case of random people) without resentment in the way. So now, I consider three main points of view on forgiveness: "forgiveness by force", "forgiveness by denial", and "forgiveness by acknowledgement".
The first view, "forgiveness by force", to me, means 'forgiving' someone out of your will. I think that when someone 'forgives by force', he or she still holds a grudge against that person, and is merely thinking that the 'forgiving' part is done. I believe it is done out of forced righteousness 'because it's right' and pride in oneself. One may supress one's hateful actions and thoughts towards the offender (for example, if I wanted to yell an insult at someone, I would stop myself by force), but deep down, the hate and resentment is still there. Therefore, forgiveness by force, in my opinion, is NOT true forgiveness.
The second view, forgiveness by denial, I define as denying that the offender did anything wrong. This one, I think, is used more in cases where the offender is someone we're close to eg. a friend, a family member, a partner, etc. It's not nice to think that a loved one hurt you, is it...? Of course not. So one denies the thought. The thought that replaces it? The the offence was not so bad, or that it was just a little slip up or something. Nothing major. But there are two problems with that way of thinking. Firstly, it doesn't address the resentment one feels (I'm talking about the people who ARE hurt) because the offence is perceived as not wrong, to put it simply. It is inconsistent. Here's the thing: if they didn't do anything wrong, why are you hurting? It can some to the point that some may even deny that they actually are hurt in order to remain consistent with their thoughts. Sad, I'm afraid. The second point is more a philosophical one. To 'forgive' in this way simply does not allow forgiveness to exist. As I mentioned before, you forgive someone when they've done something wrong. Now, to deny that someone ever did anything wrong...if there's nothing done wrong, there's nothing to forgive. So "forgiveness by denial" is not true forgiveness either. Firstly, the pain is not dealt with; secondly, denial of wrong and forgiveness, by logic, simply cannot co-exist in the same situation any more than a capital T can with an F.
So, finally, we have come to the third view on forgiveness. What do I think it means to forgive? Well, I call it "forgiveness by acknowledgment". It's different from denial. Instead of seeing the offender as blameless (when in fact, they DID offend) and lying to oneself, it involves acknowledging that the offender DID indeed offend, and also that the offender is imperfect, yet still loving (or at least not hating in the case of randoms) the offender DESPITE the undeniable wrong and damage done. It's based on unconditional love, which sees a person's weaknesses right there, but cares more about the person than what he or she does. This is the way God loves us, which leads to His forgiveness for our sins. In the same way, I believe we ought to do the same. So the verdict? Firstly, forgiveness by "acknowledgement" addresses our hurts truthfully by acknowledging that the action done was wrong. Secondly, it achieves the goal of making things right with the other person.
So then, I'd like to evaluate the three views and further explain "forgiveness by acknowledgament" with an analogy. Think of it this way: imagine the offender, the 'victim', and a high, spiky, barbed wire fence separating the two. Let the fence represent the wrong done by the offender. In the "force" case, the 'victim' sees the offender surrounded by the spiky fence. Since the fence is so close to the offender, they are seen as one. So...a spiky person, maybe. And one refuses to go near the spiky person. In the case of "denial", one either doesn't see the spiky fence, or refuses to look at it because it's so scary. And when one looks away from the fence, one looks away from the other person without realising. Similarly, by staying away from the fence, one stays away from the other person. This person lives on with the (possibly invisible) fence in the way. Now, in the final "acknowledgement" case, one looks straight at the fence; and also sees the other person behind the fence. This person sees the details of the fence: the jagged spikes on the sides of its poles - every single one; the dirty red rust that covers its poles and its mesh - disgusting; the endless coils of barbed wire on top - dense with star-shaped spurs. It's scary, to say the least, however, motivated by the desire for the person behind the fence, the 'victim' decides to climb. After sustaining several cuts and scratches, the victim reunites with the offender, and the fence is left to rust away as the two decide to walk far away from it, never to see it again. This is how I think forgiveness should be.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
When help goes bad...
Ha, haven't been posting for a while. To be honest, I haven't felt that great since I finished my assignments. I seem to be in a bad mood a lot. It sucks.
Anyways, I've been thinking about this thing on and off for the past few weeks. Something that really annoys me: when people try to fix your problems for you (especially personal ones).
Now, you should know that this is completely my own opinion - do not take it too seriously. Now, it's not bad to try and help people out when they've got a problem. For example, if I'm thirsty and you give me water; or if I don't know how to work a welder, and you teach me, then good. A practical solution for a practical problem - good. But what about the harder ones? The emotional ones. Let's say I'm stressing for exams, and you tell me to stop stressing. Am I gonna stop stressing? NO. Or what if you tell me all your relaxation strategies and study techniques? Will I stop stressing? It depends. At best, I might forcefully relax myself for a few seconds; at worst, I'll tell you you're an idiot.
My theory? Well, imagine the problems as holes and the solutions as blocks. Let's say a practical problem is a square hole, and an emotional problem is a different shape...hmmm...something complex...like a 10-pointed star. Now, if you put a square block in the square hole, it fits. Good. Now try putting a square block into a star-shaped hole. What happens? It won't work. It doesn't take long to realise that it doesn't work. But what if you persist? Then your energy is wasted. That's all. Nothing more. My theory is that purely practical solutions simply cannot fix emotional problems.
Another thing: advice. Just from my own perspecitve, if I'm sad and someone tells me to cheer up, this is what I think. Firstly, I acknowledge that he or she is trying to help. Secondly, however, I begin to think that he or she either doesn't understand, doesn't care, or both. It also gives me the impression that he/she thinks I'm stupid for being so sad and is telling me how to live my life because I'm too stupid to live it myself. Now, depending on the situation, the degree of unhappiness I feel varies.
The reason why I'm so annoyed with this is that I've had a lot of bad experiences where people have just given me advice and walked away, possibly thinking that it would fix everything. Well, more often than not, all it's done is made me angry. I understand that people are trying to help, and, most often, the solutions are good and logical. But solutions are not what I need. Solutions simply cannot fix emotions. For me, I would just prefer it if someone just listened to what I had to say without interrupting me with solutions; I need someone who is genuinely interested in ME and my feelings rather than my problems. I wonder if that's how others feel too...
The other day, I made a theory: Be quick to give hugs; be slow to give advice. I wonder what others think...
Anyways, I've been thinking about this thing on and off for the past few weeks. Something that really annoys me: when people try to fix your problems for you (especially personal ones).
Now, you should know that this is completely my own opinion - do not take it too seriously. Now, it's not bad to try and help people out when they've got a problem. For example, if I'm thirsty and you give me water; or if I don't know how to work a welder, and you teach me, then good. A practical solution for a practical problem - good. But what about the harder ones? The emotional ones. Let's say I'm stressing for exams, and you tell me to stop stressing. Am I gonna stop stressing? NO. Or what if you tell me all your relaxation strategies and study techniques? Will I stop stressing? It depends. At best, I might forcefully relax myself for a few seconds; at worst, I'll tell you you're an idiot.
My theory? Well, imagine the problems as holes and the solutions as blocks. Let's say a practical problem is a square hole, and an emotional problem is a different shape...hmmm...something complex...like a 10-pointed star. Now, if you put a square block in the square hole, it fits. Good. Now try putting a square block into a star-shaped hole. What happens? It won't work. It doesn't take long to realise that it doesn't work. But what if you persist? Then your energy is wasted. That's all. Nothing more. My theory is that purely practical solutions simply cannot fix emotional problems.
Another thing: advice. Just from my own perspecitve, if I'm sad and someone tells me to cheer up, this is what I think. Firstly, I acknowledge that he or she is trying to help. Secondly, however, I begin to think that he or she either doesn't understand, doesn't care, or both. It also gives me the impression that he/she thinks I'm stupid for being so sad and is telling me how to live my life because I'm too stupid to live it myself. Now, depending on the situation, the degree of unhappiness I feel varies.
The reason why I'm so annoyed with this is that I've had a lot of bad experiences where people have just given me advice and walked away, possibly thinking that it would fix everything. Well, more often than not, all it's done is made me angry. I understand that people are trying to help, and, most often, the solutions are good and logical. But solutions are not what I need. Solutions simply cannot fix emotions. For me, I would just prefer it if someone just listened to what I had to say without interrupting me with solutions; I need someone who is genuinely interested in ME and my feelings rather than my problems. I wonder if that's how others feel too...
The other day, I made a theory: Be quick to give hugs; be slow to give advice. I wonder what others think...
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Relax!
Well, today was pretty strange. Since last Sunday, I've been feeling a bit confused and shaken. I'd been hard at work doing my assignment that was due on Tuesday, and eventually, thanks to God's mercy (I didn't think I'd be able to do it), I finished! But the excitement was short lived. Soon after I handed it in, I dropped the thought and I looked towards the work ahead. The confusion still remained. I prayed that God would help me find the answer, but no luck. Today, I planned to do another assignment, and I prayed again, and started with BSF. While I was reading, I found it hard to concentrate, and I thought...if I'm having trouble just reading this, how can I do my assignment?!...STUFF IT.
I had some mixed up thoughts...Had I not remembered what God did with my other assignment? I was panicking over it, but he lifted me out of it. Why did I just forget and try to move on? What was more important? God's gift to me, or some uni work? Who's in charge of my life? Who would bring me through in the end? What job am I gonna get? Where will I end up? Surely I couldn't do it myself (that's a different story)...Gah! What's the use?! Did I not trust that God would make things right?
God's response: Relax.
So...I'd forgotten to take time to celebrate and rest my over-active mind. Come to think of it, when was the last time I actually gave myself a rest? Seriously, these days, I haven't gone through one day without worrying about something at least once...yep, that was my problem. The conclusion? 'Screw this, I'm making cookies'.
So today, I whipped up a batch of vanilla crescents, then I read through a chapter of Halo: The Flood, followed by some stress relief with Ratchet and Clank 3: Up Your Arsenal...and now, I'm on the computer...Well, it was good to get my mind off all the uni work for a day. Still a bit worried, but significantly less; my mind seems to be a thinking more rationally. We'll see...Right now, I just think: wouldn't it be good if my worries would just eat themselves and stop plaguing me? Heh, oh well, we'll be right. God has a plan for me. As for me, lesson learned.
I had some mixed up thoughts...Had I not remembered what God did with my other assignment? I was panicking over it, but he lifted me out of it. Why did I just forget and try to move on? What was more important? God's gift to me, or some uni work? Who's in charge of my life? Who would bring me through in the end? What job am I gonna get? Where will I end up? Surely I couldn't do it myself (that's a different story)...Gah! What's the use?! Did I not trust that God would make things right?
God's response: Relax.
So...I'd forgotten to take time to celebrate and rest my over-active mind. Come to think of it, when was the last time I actually gave myself a rest? Seriously, these days, I haven't gone through one day without worrying about something at least once...yep, that was my problem. The conclusion? 'Screw this, I'm making cookies'.
So today, I whipped up a batch of vanilla crescents, then I read through a chapter of Halo: The Flood, followed by some stress relief with Ratchet and Clank 3: Up Your Arsenal...and now, I'm on the computer...Well, it was good to get my mind off all the uni work for a day. Still a bit worried, but significantly less; my mind seems to be a thinking more rationally. We'll see...Right now, I just think: wouldn't it be good if my worries would just eat themselves and stop plaguing me? Heh, oh well, we'll be right. God has a plan for me. As for me, lesson learned.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Passion for Passionfruit
Every now and then, I get bored at home, and not too long ago, I discovered a (tank) passionfruit vine out the back growing in our neighbour's yard (well, I always knew it was there - I just noticed how big it was). It starts from the ground on their side near the fence and climbs up onto the branches of a large tree (which is also near the fence). The neighbour's side is also elevated about a metre above our place and is supported by a retaining wall. The part of the vine that grows on the tree's brances hangs above our side. The passionfruit on their side are in arm's reach from their level, while the passionfruit on our side hang up to 7 or so metres above.
So anyways, I decided to try and pick them since I didn't want them to go to waste. You see, if they are ignored, they get over-ripe, fall down, and rot (which is what happens with the neighbours). I figured that I'd rather see the ripe ones eaten than fall down and rot. the first few times I visited the vine, I went for the ones within arm's reach. I took off all the low ones on our side and nabbed all the ripe ones over the neighbours' side (They don't care anyway, and they weren't there. I seriously think I'm doing them a favour - their yard is full of rotten passionfruit!) Anyways, after I grabbed all the ones within reach, I looked at the ones that were still there, and I was unsatisfied...so I used a rake to get a few higher ones down. Still, I was unsatisfied, and since I couldn't get the ripe ones up high, I went for some half-ripe ones just for the sake of it. Not as satisfying.
During my next few visits, I didn't really do much. I just thought about getting the ones on top that I couldn't reach. I wanted them, and I was contemplating on how to get them, but I was sure of one thing: I couldn't do it! At least not for now...I made a rather poor rig by tying a metre-long stick to the rake, which failed. It couldn't reach, and after a few swings, it broke. This made me disappointed (well, it wasn't much of an issue, but my disappointment was significant for an issue with a low level of importance like this one). I also tried throwing stuff at the vine eg. the rake, the broom, and a metre-long stick, but I decided to abandon this because it made too much noise when the things crashed on the shed ^^. After these attempts, I found myself still wanting the passionfruit but unable to get it. All I did when I was there was think about how to get them down - just thinking and not doing. The only doing i did was use the "failed" rig a couple more times, and all I got were some green ones.
Today, I decided to try something new. I went for it. Long story short, I grabbed some stuff from the garage and the backyard and came up with *gasp* the ultimate contraption: a 12-foot (around 3.7m) monster consisting of the rake, a wooden broom handle, a random 1m stick (probably used for poking fires) and a blind rod (I think that's what it's called. It's the rod you twist to adjust horizontal blinds, and no, it's not a cane.); all held together with copious and carefully placed amounts of brown packaging tape. It reached - Hoorah! It reached, but it couldn't take them down. I kept poking, swinging and twirling the thing around, but no success. All I got was a pair of green ones T_T. I decided it needed something more - a hook! Or a loop. So I attached a loop of garden wire to the end of the blind rod and tried again. After a few attempts of getting used to the new rig...success! I took them ALL down. All but one, which was hidden deep in the vines. And yep, I wasn't fully satisfied. But then, I thought for a minute...Why was I fussing over the one that was still up there? Was I not already satisfied with the ones (around 20) I've already taken down? This reminds me of gambling...'nuff said.
So, how does this important at all? Actually, it helped me get things into perspective. I learned two things: too much thinking and not putting it into action doesn't get far, and that my focus plays a big role in determining my attitiude, i.e. focusing on one "unclaimed" passionfruit instead of the 20 or so I got made me unsatisfied and disappointed (mildly of course, but still...). So the implications...? (lol I sound like a scientist) Well, lately, I've been worrying about a lot of stuff - thinking, thinking, thinking, and either neglecting the action part or being too worried about carry out my desires. Maybe I should worry less, and be a bit more fearless (but not careless)with my actions. Actually, come to think of it, I might have been careless in that I've let my worries get a bit out of control.
Another thing: I've probably been too focused on my mistakes and not focused enough on what I've already got. This has made me bitter, and has probably impacted on the way I do things. Actually, this might have been what causes me to be 'religious' every now and then. There's no room for that. Anyways, my final verdict: we can't have everything in life, but we don't NEED everything in life, so let's learn to appreciate what we've got.
Actually...I somehow think God's involved in all this. Man, crazy, huh? Using passionfruits to teach me a lesson... Oh well, God works in weird and wonderful ways. So...in conclusion: Less chat, more splat (not so much with the wrinkled passionfruit that I chop in half with the shovel, then scoop up and throw over the fence). I mean being more active in my life; carrying out the desires that come from my heart. Hoorah! Also, adopting a more positive focus and appreciating the things I've got (and not forgetting to thank God for them). Hoorah! Amen.
So anyways, I decided to try and pick them since I didn't want them to go to waste. You see, if they are ignored, they get over-ripe, fall down, and rot (which is what happens with the neighbours). I figured that I'd rather see the ripe ones eaten than fall down and rot. the first few times I visited the vine, I went for the ones within arm's reach. I took off all the low ones on our side and nabbed all the ripe ones over the neighbours' side (They don't care anyway, and they weren't there. I seriously think I'm doing them a favour - their yard is full of rotten passionfruit!) Anyways, after I grabbed all the ones within reach, I looked at the ones that were still there, and I was unsatisfied...so I used a rake to get a few higher ones down. Still, I was unsatisfied, and since I couldn't get the ripe ones up high, I went for some half-ripe ones just for the sake of it. Not as satisfying.
During my next few visits, I didn't really do much. I just thought about getting the ones on top that I couldn't reach. I wanted them, and I was contemplating on how to get them, but I was sure of one thing: I couldn't do it! At least not for now...I made a rather poor rig by tying a metre-long stick to the rake, which failed. It couldn't reach, and after a few swings, it broke. This made me disappointed (well, it wasn't much of an issue, but my disappointment was significant for an issue with a low level of importance like this one). I also tried throwing stuff at the vine eg. the rake, the broom, and a metre-long stick, but I decided to abandon this because it made too much noise when the things crashed on the shed ^^. After these attempts, I found myself still wanting the passionfruit but unable to get it. All I did when I was there was think about how to get them down - just thinking and not doing. The only doing i did was use the "failed" rig a couple more times, and all I got were some green ones.
Today, I decided to try something new. I went for it. Long story short, I grabbed some stuff from the garage and the backyard and came up with *gasp* the ultimate contraption: a 12-foot (around 3.7m) monster consisting of the rake, a wooden broom handle, a random 1m stick (probably used for poking fires) and a blind rod (I think that's what it's called. It's the rod you twist to adjust horizontal blinds, and no, it's not a cane.); all held together with copious and carefully placed amounts of brown packaging tape. It reached - Hoorah! It reached, but it couldn't take them down. I kept poking, swinging and twirling the thing around, but no success. All I got was a pair of green ones T_T. I decided it needed something more - a hook! Or a loop. So I attached a loop of garden wire to the end of the blind rod and tried again. After a few attempts of getting used to the new rig...success! I took them ALL down. All but one, which was hidden deep in the vines. And yep, I wasn't fully satisfied. But then, I thought for a minute...Why was I fussing over the one that was still up there? Was I not already satisfied with the ones (around 20) I've already taken down? This reminds me of gambling...'nuff said.
So, how does this important at all? Actually, it helped me get things into perspective. I learned two things: too much thinking and not putting it into action doesn't get far, and that my focus plays a big role in determining my attitiude, i.e. focusing on one "unclaimed" passionfruit instead of the 20 or so I got made me unsatisfied and disappointed (mildly of course, but still...). So the implications...? (lol I sound like a scientist) Well, lately, I've been worrying about a lot of stuff - thinking, thinking, thinking, and either neglecting the action part or being too worried about carry out my desires. Maybe I should worry less, and be a bit more fearless (but not careless)with my actions. Actually, come to think of it, I might have been careless in that I've let my worries get a bit out of control.
Another thing: I've probably been too focused on my mistakes and not focused enough on what I've already got. This has made me bitter, and has probably impacted on the way I do things. Actually, this might have been what causes me to be 'religious' every now and then. There's no room for that. Anyways, my final verdict: we can't have everything in life, but we don't NEED everything in life, so let's learn to appreciate what we've got.
Actually...I somehow think God's involved in all this. Man, crazy, huh? Using passionfruits to teach me a lesson... Oh well, God works in weird and wonderful ways. So...in conclusion: Less chat, more splat (not so much with the wrinkled passionfruit that I chop in half with the shovel, then scoop up and throw over the fence). I mean being more active in my life; carrying out the desires that come from my heart. Hoorah! Also, adopting a more positive focus and appreciating the things I've got (and not forgetting to thank God for them). Hoorah! Amen.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
10 things
Just thought I'd let u in on something: recently, I've started writing my thoughts down so I don't forget (oh, how i so easily forget) them. So here's a little something:
10 things I like (and appreciate):
1. The sky
2. Methylated spirits
3. Glowsticks
4. Windows
5. Water
6. Lemons
7. WD40
8. Weet Bix
9. Wooden broom handles
10. Manual transmission
What are 10 things you like or appreciate?
p.s. dw, not all my posts are going to be random like this...
10 things I like (and appreciate):
1. The sky
2. Methylated spirits
3. Glowsticks
4. Windows
5. Water
6. Lemons
7. WD40
8. Weet Bix
9. Wooden broom handles
10. Manual transmission
What are 10 things you like or appreciate?
p.s. dw, not all my posts are going to be random like this...
Introspection.....
I'd just like to share a tiny bit about one of my major characteristics (or at least I think so): my extreme thinking.
For those who don't know (which is probably everyone, unless I'm mistaken), I seem to think about things a lot of the time e.g. my life, imaginations, moral issues, logic and technicality, 'tough' questions, emotions...etc. Usually, I find myself thinking about one or more of these things. I wonder: does anyone else do this, or am I just strange...(dw I'm not discouraged by that thought). But yeah, I'm just curious.
According to the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a personality test) I'm a perceiving type (as opposed to a judging type). This means (I think) that I prefer to understand the world by being flexible with my thoughts, with less focus on making my own judgements and sticking to them. I guess you could say that I'm open-minded^^.
Anyways, I find several advantages and disadvantages to this. Firstly, if my thoughts go the right way, several things can happen: I find a satisfying answer to my questions, I find a new way of thinking, my mind opens up a bit more, and my knowledge (and possibly intelligence) increases. My thinking has gotten me quite far in terms of knowledge and, possibly, wisdom (sorry if it sounds like I'm boasting - I'm not). However, there is also a downside to this. If my thoughts get pushed the wrong way, e.g. if I get an unpleasant thought, I tend to worry. I've made a nickname for myself: the king of worrying. And, man, I'm really good at it. I hate it. But anyways, that's a different story.
Now that you see how I think about things (well, at least a little), maybe you'll be prepared for my (possibly) strange posts ^^.
For those who don't know (which is probably everyone, unless I'm mistaken), I seem to think about things a lot of the time e.g. my life, imaginations, moral issues, logic and technicality, 'tough' questions, emotions...etc. Usually, I find myself thinking about one or more of these things. I wonder: does anyone else do this, or am I just strange...(dw I'm not discouraged by that thought). But yeah, I'm just curious.
According to the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a personality test) I'm a perceiving type (as opposed to a judging type). This means (I think) that I prefer to understand the world by being flexible with my thoughts, with less focus on making my own judgements and sticking to them. I guess you could say that I'm open-minded^^.
Anyways, I find several advantages and disadvantages to this. Firstly, if my thoughts go the right way, several things can happen: I find a satisfying answer to my questions, I find a new way of thinking, my mind opens up a bit more, and my knowledge (and possibly intelligence) increases. My thinking has gotten me quite far in terms of knowledge and, possibly, wisdom (sorry if it sounds like I'm boasting - I'm not). However, there is also a downside to this. If my thoughts get pushed the wrong way, e.g. if I get an unpleasant thought, I tend to worry. I've made a nickname for myself: the king of worrying. And, man, I'm really good at it. I hate it. But anyways, that's a different story.
Now that you see how I think about things (well, at least a little), maybe you'll be prepared for my (possibly) strange posts ^^.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
random question
At a uni bible study the other day, our leader asked us this question as an icebreaker: If you had 24 hours to do whatever you wanted without any consequences, what would you do? I went for the boring option of stealing a fast car and hooning around. What would you do?
I have conformed...
Hello, and welcome to my first weblog (yep, that's what blog stands for). I'm not normally much of an internet person, but I just thought I'd give this a go thanks to a good friend of mine.
Anyways, I hope to share some things in my life that I don't get the chance to share normally e.g. everyday things, values, struggles, and lessons. Hopefully, for those who know me, it will help you to know me better. Strap yourselves in and prepare for something...different...
p.s. I hope I don't scare you too much...
Anyways, I hope to share some things in my life that I don't get the chance to share normally e.g. everyday things, values, struggles, and lessons. Hopefully, for those who know me, it will help you to know me better. Strap yourselves in and prepare for something...different...
p.s. I hope I don't scare you too much...
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